The Only Thing That's Right
by SephyRose611
Summary: Harry comforts Ruth after Jo's death. Spoilers for 8.3
1. Chapter 1

A/N: I wrote this a while back, but wasn't particularly keen on it, so I didn't post it. I've since rewritten it so hopefully it isn't _too _bad. Spoilers for 8.3.

Disclaimer: Spooks and all its characters belong to the BBC and Kudos.

**The Only Thing That's Right**

Harry stared at his desk. He currently had no idea what to do, say, or think. Jo was dead. It couldn't be true, and yet he knew that it was: he had lost too many members of his team to deny the fact of death. He still found it difficult to grieve though. He tended to keep it inside; he had to be strong for the rest of his team.

Even when Ruth had left, he hadn't allowed himself tears: only aware of his loss by the ache in his heart, the feel of her lips still on his, and the undeniable image of the barge sailing away from him. Sailing away with the woman he loved.

He knew without even considering that he was still in love with her and yet he could never bring himself to do anything about it. _She practically got married over there for god's sake, _he told himself desperately. _She can't love you any more, not after everything. Get over yourself Pearce, and just savour her being back._

He was brought back to reality by the sounds of low sobbing and realised that Ruth must still be outside. Jo had been her friend before she left the Grid, and now, upon her return...

His conflicting thoughts somehow propelled him to his feet and before he realised it, he was standing by the door, his fingers curling around the handle. Then his sense of propriety kicked in and he wondered if it was still appropriate for him to offer comfort to her.

Deciding that there was nothing wrong with comforting her in a time of distress, he gently opened the door and eased himself towards her. At first she didn't notice him, and he wondered whether he should leave, wondered if she didn't want his company; but then she turned ever so slightly and met his gaze before quickly looking down again, feeling her heartbeat speed up.

_For god's sake Ruth,_ she thought desperately, _forget about your feelings towards Harry for now, it's not the time, and nor is it the time to beat yourself up about your inability to reveal emotion: Jo's dead. _At that thought she burst into more hysterical sobs.

Harry stood, motionless, not quite sure what he was supposed to do; what he should do. Instead, his arms bypassed his sluggish brain entirely and he took her in his arms, deciding to ignore the tensing of her muscles and simply holding her there until she relaxed.

When her tears subsided, Ruth felt decidedly stupid. She loosened herself from Harry's embrace and looked ashamedly at her feet.

"I'm sorry," she mumbled embarassedly, refusing to meet his eye.

"Nonsense," he replied softly. "It's completely understandable; she was a friend, not just a colleague. I would do the same myself if I didn't have to be strong for the rest of my team."

He sounded so forlorn that Ruth had to resist the temptation to pull him into her arms and comfort him. Maybe even kiss him...

She shivered involuntarily, and she realized with desperation that she was, despite all the avoidance and rationalizations, madly in love with Harry Pearce. She always had been.

She wondered for a moment why she hadn't realised it before and then decided that she had, but was too scared to admit it. She had thought she'd never see him again, that she wouldn't have to confront her feelings, and yet, here she was, having been provided with the perfect opportunity to do something about it.

Harry cleared his throat and Ruth realised with a startled jump that he was probably waiting for her to say something, not knowing that his thoughts had been going down a similar track mere moments before.

"I... Erm, well, I..." she glanced nervously up at him, blushing furiously before quickly directing her gaze towards her hands.

"You don't always have to be brave," she murmured, without thinking. "It doesn't hurt to show emotion."

She stopped suddenly, realising what she had just said, what he might think she was implying. She half expected him to be angry with her, and yet, when she finally met his gaze again, he simply looked as though he was fighting some sort of internal battle.

He was. As soon as she said that, he had to resist the urge to brush his lips against hers, desperate to show her the emotion he was feeling right now. Shaking his head to clear the inappropriate thoughts, his deep brown eyes met her startling blue ones and before he knew it he was taking her hands in his.

"Oh Ruth," he murmured, sending shivers down her spine. "How I'd love to. But I can't, it's too difficult… I… You… It wouldn't be fair."

He hoped that she wouldn't know what he was referring to, and yet a part of him had resigned itself to his fate.

She seemed to take courage from this statement, and, searching the depths of his deep brown eyes, she realised the truth.

**Please review! One more chapter to come.**


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: I also had to rewrite this chapter almost entirely so I apologise for the delay in updating. Hope you enjoy!

Disclaimer: Spooks and all its characters belong to the BBC and Kudos.

**The Only Thing That's Right**

"Harry," Ruth spoke softly, savouring the sound of his name as it left her tongue. "It's not unwelcome, not anymore... After everything..."

And she began to cry again, crying for all the pain she had ever caused him; the amount of times she'd crushed this opportunity. She swore to herself that she'd take the next chance she got to show him how she felt: she wasn't the old bumbling naïve Ruth anymore, she knew that nothing was guaranteed in their line of work so she was determined to make the most of the time she had with him.

Harry rubbed her arms gently with his large hands, attempting awkwardly to soothe her. He didn't quite know what to make of the situation he found himself in: yes, he'd dreamed of her coming back to him more often than he'd like to admit, but the way in which it had happened wasn't exactly how he'd imagined it. All he knew in that moment was that he couldn't let her slip through his fingers again.

He searched her blue eyes desperately and saw reflected in them what he was sure she could see in his.

"Ruth," he began, struggling for the words to sum up how he felt without scaring her away again. He considered continuing the conversation in the vain in which it had started: riddles; but he was fed up of hiding behind words so took a deep breath.

"I, I thought you wouldn't want me anymore, not after George… I can't really compare..."

He stopped nervously, wondering whether he'd already said too much and bravely she decided to take over.

"Never Harry," she smiled softly, hoping to ease his nerves. "I thought that I loved George, but now I realise that I was just hiding my true feelings. I, I always loved you," she admitted tenderly, realising she'd practically said the three words she had stopped him from saying on the worst day of her life. She gazed at him through her eyelashes, tentatively hoping that he understood what she meant, what she was trying to say to him in her usual bumbling way, before continuing slowly, "I just never had the strength to say it or allow you to say it."

He gasped quietly, his heart pounding wildly, unable to believe that she might actually feel the same way he felt about her and couldn't suppress his grin at the swell in his heart that her words produced.

"Ruth," he managed through the emotion thickening his voice. "I know this might not be quite the right time to say it, but, I, I never stopped loving you, not in all the time you were away, and I'm sorry I haven't had the chance to tell you before."

"Oh Harry," she managed to stutter through the tears threatening to spill again, "I'm sorry about... About that. I just couldn't, I was scared that if you said it I wouldn't ever leave, and I had to go... I had to go."

"I know, and I'm sorry I put you in that position in the first place," he murmured gently, tenderly brushing a couple of stray tears from her cheeks as they meandered towards her mouth.

Leaning forwards slightly, he searched the depths of her eyes, seeking permission. She nodded slowly and nervously ran her tongue over her lower lip, before drawing herself up on her toes and slowly bringing his lips down to hers. He framed her face between his hands, kissing her softly, insistently, showing her just a hint of the passion he felt. She began to lose herself in the feel and taste of him, one hand on his chest, the other playing with the hair at the nape of his neck. When he gently ran his tongue against her upper lip she parted them lightly and he wasted no time in sweeping into her open mouth, tasting her fully for the first time in what felt like eternity.

When they drew apart she smiled bashfully and he couldn't help but grin back.

"Would you like to go for dinner?" he asked nervously after a stretch of silence, desperately hoping that he wasn't pushing it, as he thought he was the last time he had asked her. "Or we can wait until after..." he trailed off and Ruth quickly interrupted him before his insecurity got the better of him: usually her area of expertise she acknowledged.

"No, I'd love to," she smiled tenderly, squeezing his bicep reassuringly, and allowing her imagination to linger for a moment on what might happen after the meal. "I'll just get my coat," she said quickly, blushing slightly at the thoughts that had crept into her head.

He smiled understandingly, his thoughts having been in the same place and gently let go of her hand, watching as she wove her way across the Grid towards her desk.

"Thank you," he murmured softly, praising the heavens for the development, and hoping that, for once, he wouldn't make a hash of it.

End

**Please review! I hope that it wasn't too bad.**


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